That Kinda “Numb” Feeling

Sometimes you don’t want to write, and that’s okay, I promise. It’s hard to put into words occasionally how you feel, or to be that peppy blogging reviewer person you aimed to be when you started posting. Sometimes you just need a break which is what I’ve done. It wasn’t a conscious decision, it just kind of happened. But now I’m back, for the moment contemplating about whether I should even be writing a post like this.

If you have been following my blog for a while now you will most likely have seen one or two of my “What Made Me Smile” posts. I wrote them for the first 5 weeks of my blog and then somewhat ran face first into a brick wall. I was writing week 6 (a few weeks ago now) and I couldn’t get past Tuesday. I asked myself what made me smile, and I felt nothing. Now I wasn’t having a bad time or anything, in fact the last few weeks have been perfectly fine and normal for me, some ups, some downs but nothing significantly bad. I just feel numb. It feels like I have forgotten to feel sometimes, leaving me unmotivated, numb, kind of empty. Nothing matters, nothing counts, you just feel empty.

But not always of course. I do have my magically, breathtaking moments of laughter and sheer joy that I treasure for all the world with my friends and family. I’ve realised that sometimes it can be like a dark cloud is surrounding our minds however and in a way it’s harder to appreciate these moments. And so I have been led to sign up for a lifeskills workshop running weekly in my college for 6 weeks, of which it’s main aim is to show you how to live life to the full. It’s run by Aware – an Irish organisation offering support to those specifically with depression and bipolar disorder.

I’ve attended the first session so far. A group of us (all girls except one) stood awkwardly outside the doors of the red room awaiting what was to come, all of us needing something from it, none of us knowing each other, all of us curious. I’m guessing some didn’t even tell anyone that they were signing up. After all, we live in a society where mental health problems are often discussed on the down low (but this is changing of course!). We were greeted by a nice woman, who introduced herself and asked us one by one our names, and also what talent we would like to wake up with. An interesting ice-breaker I must say. I’m glad it didn’t go on too long, for I hate those blasted ice-breakers we’re often faced with. She gave us little books called “Why Do I Feel So Bad?” and “Write All Over Your Bathroom Mirror” – and with these and some group exercises, she showed us little by little how we can improve our way of thinking and our behaviour for the better.

What I’m trying to say basically is: It’s okay not to be okay (cheesy I know, but it’s true), Writers block is a huge pain, Support groups and workshops could be worth your time, and YOU’RE NOT ALONE – There are so many people you don’t even know exist that are feeling the same way you do (it took going to that lifeskills workshop and meeting a complete group of me to realise that but oh well). Also feeling nothing is a feeling too. I describe it as a numb feeling but maybe you have a different word for that. Anyway thank you for reading. I love you all, and sorry for such a long break in my posts ❤

Lucy x

Staying Positive

Staying positive at any time of the year seems to be a challenge for many. But I myself have found that in the height of winter’s dark days and underlying gloom, it can become even harder. During the winter months we tend to be also at the height of our work load, with Christmas approaching, exams looming and the days getting shorter. Overall this equals lower moods and heightened stress levels. It’s no wonder that depression and suicide rates reach all time highs at this time of year. With this in mind I think it is important to highlight the need to take care of not only ourselves but those around us especially at this time of year.

This year one of my (long overdue) resolutions is to work on my mental health and the first step I am taking is to be more positive in my everyday life. I personally think that a positive mindset is the key to good mental health and am willing to prove it to you by the end of 2016 when I hopefully will have reached my goal. So stay tuned!

I’m leaving below a little list of things I’m going to do for this month and each month I will add more things to the list and post a little update on how I’m doing so that by the end of the year I will have changed my lifestyle in little ways that will effect my mental health in a huge way.

Staying Positive January Goals & Tasks:

  1. Continue writing my “What Made Me Smile” posts every week.
  2. Pick a quote each day in order to inspire myself and apply it to that day.
  3. Donate money and help others whenever I can.
  4. If I make mistakes (which I do all the time), take a deep breath and learn from them.

These are my January goals & tasks! Will you be joining me in my journey to good mental health? Leave your own ideas on being positive below for everyone to see! Together we can do this 🙂 ❤

Lucy x

Trying Something New

To my wonderful followers,

Lately I haven’t been feeling the best which is why my posts have been less frequent. I’ve been extremely tired and sluggish, have had back pains and weird itchy hive-type things covering my legs. I thought it was time for a detox, or a”teatox”, something I had honestly never tried before so I wasn’t sure what to expect. I had however heard that they were really good for giving energy and removing that bloated feeling, as well as getting rid of sugar cravings (that I wanted to see!). As a follower of fellow Irish blogger FacesByGrace on snapchat, I knew the risks associated a lot of those skinny teas out there, mostly those containing Senna leaves and other laxatives as it stops the absorption of the contraceptive pill – a big no no for many of us women. Following Grace’s recommendations I decided to try Miss Fit Skinny Tea, an Irish company that prides itself in the results it delivers but also in the fact that it contains no laxatives, making it possibly the safest option on the market regarding skinny detox teas. The company’s founder and creator Ruth was quite a pleasure to do business with. She was very sweet and helpful when I messaged her on Facebook to talk about her tea and you can tell that she really cares about her customers and the quality of the product they receive.

So anyway I decided I would start with the 14 day package which was 24.99 and also bought the adorable little strawberry tea infuser which was 5. Postage was fast which is always a plus to buying things online. I ordered it on a Sunday and it arrived the Thursday to my delight.

Here’s what I received in an adorable pink envelope with white polka dots ^.^

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I’ve really only started drinking the tea today so I can’t give much of an opinion on if I feel different or anything yet but it does have a nice flavour. Kinda reminds me of green tea which I love! Ruth recommends drinking 3-4 cups a day but I have definitely drank at least 5 so far…and may have another one before I finish typing this. I really hope it does make me feel better soon. Onwards and upwards as they say!

All my love,

Lucy x

P.S. There are now over 100 of you following me! How freaking amazing is that. I am honestly so happy and grateful for your presence. Will be holding a small giveaway soon as my thanks<3